Pretending I'm Retired

A letter to myself written on my 51 st birthday, December 29, 2021 Dear Allison, Happy birthday! Whatever else happens in life, you know you’ve made it to fifty-one amazing, glorious years.  While challenges in 2021 brought heaviness, you were proactive and resilient in seeking out and finding the good. C all it selective memory, but the remembrances are more positive than not. You’ve had a good year and  many highlights beyond your first colorectal screening… Granddaddy turned ninety and we are thankful he is still strong in mind, body, and spirit Lots of cooking! I worked through decades of recipes torn from magazines, including the (first annual?) Sweet Sixteen baking tournament for the neighborhood. Jack’s room was officially turned into my office—partly because I was teaching virtually and partly to solidify my empty nester status. Jack graduated from Randolph-Macon College—whoop, whoop!—and promptly moved back home, wiping away my empty nester status. He is caddying...

It was Saturday afternoon, and I was languishing on the couch in my pajamas wrapped in a blanket of self-pity. This was not on my list of things to do today. I was supposed to be planning weekly menus and changing the laundry loads. I was supposed to be addressing Christmas cards and wrapping a few gifts. I was supposed to be productive. And now, we were invited to a friend’s house for dinner. I was supposed to be showering, drying my hair, and putting on lipstick. I was supposed to feel festive. Instead, I was wallowing in my own rabbit hole of discontent, trying to convince myself to go out. There are numerous benefits of social connections on our mental health, including lower rates of anxiety and depression. But to reap those benefits, I’ve got to get up off this couch. One of the tricky things about social situations is that first greeting. There’s the taking of the coat, the taking of the drink order, and then it comes: “How are you?” “Well,” I wanted to say, ...

  We’re baaack! How was your first week? Mine was challenging, rewarding, and a stimulating kind of good. And also, exhausting. There’s no tired like teacher tired after the first week of school. Over the summer, we’ve gone soft. The first week back is like boot camp for our out-of-shape school bodies. Physically, I’m fatigued. My feet are worn out from wearing flats instead of flip flops, and there are band aids on the back of my heels where my shoes have been digging into the soft, tender part of the Achilles tendon. My vocal cords are drained from overexertion. Add an extra layer (no pun intended) of wearing a mask while trying to project my voice, and I’m explicitly enunciating every syllable, praying my message is clear. My neck is weary, and that dang spot between my neck and shoulder is already throbbing from hunching over my laptop. My eyes are strained from responding to emails and reading the latest covid mitigation announcements. Mentally, I’m spent. My brain i...

When I was in second grade, my mom signed me up for a summer soccer camp. It did not go well. I wasn’t very fast, I couldn’t dribble the ball, and well, let’s face it: I was not interested in playing soccer. Instead, I preferred to spend my time on the field daydreaming and searching for four-leafed clovers. So, as a new school year begins, you may wonder why I’m taking my inspiration from a soccer coach. Have you seen Ted Lasso , the show on AppleTV+? Ted Lasso is an American football coach hired to manage a British soccer team with no experience. I’ve been thinking about Ted as the new school year starts and this year, my motto is, “Be Like Ted.” Without any spoilers (just in case you haven’t seen it yet), here’s why: 1.       Ted forms relationships with his players. Period. Just kidding—there are six more points below. But this is number one for a reason. To teach my students effectively, I need to know their strengths and their stories. The opportu...

  “Don’t look down. Don’t look down. Good mule.” I gave Judd a reassuring pat on the neck, although I was the one who really needed reassuring. What was I thinking? The bottom of the canyon is a long way down and I’m climbing on the back of a mule? Tiffany, our trail guide, gave me a boost up and showed me how to keep my feet in the stirrups and my hand on the reins. “Mules are very sure footed because they can see all four of their hooves at the same time,” she explained. “Did you know they are four times stronger than horses and require much less water?” How many National Parks can you name? Although the National Park Service now manages 63 national parks, few people could name them all. However, the Grand Canyon is one of the most recognizable vistas in the United States. The Grand Canyon is aptly named—it is over a mile deep and ten miles across in some areas—at 1,904 square miles, it’s larger than the state of Rhode Island! Millions of tourists from across the globe check th...

  2004 Flashback It’s 2004 and the cicadas come. I’m a stay-at-home mom in Virginia with my husband Paul and two children. Jack is almost five and Katherine is three. I fill a scrapbook with pictures of our family—the doting grandparents, grinning cousins, and, of course, Uncle Bobby’s dog Bear. I think I will remember these preschool days so clearly. On this Saturday afternoon in May, the cicadas are a source of wonder. Bear is stretched out on the patio, and when a cicada lands close enough, he paws at it and eats it. Jack and Katherine pull empty shells off the tree bark, collecting them in a pile as Paul and I plant perennials. Katherine drops her finger to the dirt, guiding a cicada to crawl up her arm and Jack shouts excitedly when one alights on his shirt. In the evening, we sit on the patio, listening to the insects’ high-pitched songs as Uncle Bobby gives Jack and Katherine wheelbarrow rides. For a few weeks, the vibrating tymbals of the cicadas overtake the sounds o...

  Shhh, hear that whirring sound? It’s not the cicadas…it’s the sound of the spinning blades of helicopter parents as we begin to worry about our babies graduating from college: How will they find those perfect first jobs during a pandemic? It’s going to be okay, I promise. My son is graduating from college, and he just landed his first job. After four years of studying, he will collect his business degree, move back home, and caddy at a local golf course. I could not be prouder. It’s spring—graduation season—the time when stories circulate of those college graduates landing great jobs with big salaries. Making 70K as an accountant for a Fortune 500 company is a sweet deal if you are passionate about crunching numbers. But what about new graduates who aren’t yet sure what they want to do? For many, the best way to pair skills and interests with a career isn’t as clear cut. How important is that first job after graduation? It’s important, but maybe not for the reasons you thin...