Chicken Nuggets and a Nap

Katherine is in the kitchen. She’s been busy packing. She’s warming up some lunch in the microwave and I come out to the kitchen to sit on the bench seat under the window.

“Do you have a minute?” I ask.

She looks over at me as she grabs her plate and shuts the microwave door. “Like, a real minute?” she says.

I look at the clock. I know she’s busy and in a hurry. But maybe, just maybe, it will help if I say this aloud.

“I’m sad,” I tell her.

“What are you sad about?” she asks. She squirts ketchup on the side of her plate, grabs her fork, and sits down to eat.

I consider her question. “I think it’s a combination of things,” I answer. “You’re leaving for grad school and I’m starting a new job. I’m excited for our new opportunities, but also a little anxious. I feel like summer is ending and I’m not ready for it to end. Like right now, I should be doing some professional development trainings, but I feel like taking a nap.”

“I’m sorry, Mom.” Katherine finishes the last of her lunch and stands up, one eye on the clock, as she rinses her plate at the sink. “I know how you feel. Sometimes we just feel this way and we have to keep focusing on healthy strategies until the feeling passes. What would make you feel better right now?”

“Ice cream and wine,” I think in my head. As if she can read my mind, Katherine looks up at me. “Have you ever tried the chicken nuggets from Trader Joe’s? They have 10 g of protein per serving and they are so easy to heat up and eat!”

This makes me smile. Of course, Katherine is excited and nervous about moving halfway across the country tomorrow. Instead of numbing any anxiety with ice cream or wine, she’s sticking to her own healthy habits. I’m proud of her, and I know someday she’s going to be an amazing therapist. If this five minute therapy session with her mom is any indication, she already is.

“Maybe I will take a nap,” I say. And I do.

Going to miss our adventures together!

The nap definitely helped. Upon reflection, I think the way I'm feeling is more complicated than "sad." It's more of a nostalgic-anticipating-happy-sad-nervous-proud kind of emotion. Is there a name for that? I'm going to miss my adventures with Katherine AND I'm thrilled for the opportunities that are waiting for her in Michigan. I'm going to miss my summer naps AND I'm looking forward to meeting my new students. 

We'll have one last dinner together tonight before Katherine leaves tomorrow. Maybe we'll try those healthy chicken nuggets AND have a little ice cream for dessert!